Closer
by prinsesseazula
Summary: Catra was more than sure Adora hated her for everything she had done, but at the same time, she wanted to believe the girl still cared about her. Even if it wasn't real… She wanted to believe there was something she hadn't lost yet.


This is my first catradora fic, I hope you like it! :)

It was originally posted on AO3

* * *

"How do we know we can trust her?"  
"You don't. But can you trust _me_?" Glimmer replied Bow, looking seriously at him and Adora.  
Catra was sitting on the floor near them, leaning her back on the wall. She, just like Glimmer, was a mess. There were scratches all over her body and her right leg seemed pretty injured since she could barely stand.

Glimmer wasn't as bad as her, but she also seemed pretty beaten and very tired. They had just escaped Horde Prime's ship and arrived at the palace.  
"Of course, we do, Glimmer," Adora said, frowning and glancing at Catra, who had barely moved. "But I still don't like it."  
"I know." Glimmer nodded. "But if it wasn't for her, I wouldn't be here. Actually, Etheria would probably be obliterated by now. So, we owe her that. Plus, she doesn't have anywhere to go. The Horde is over. We've got bigger problems..."  
Adora sighed, looking away. She couldn't help but feel guilty about all of this, as though somehow she could have been able to stop it all.  
"At least you and Catra have bought us some time, destroying that ship."  
"Yes... but I don't think it will take them much longer to attack."  
Later that day Adora found Catra alone in the palace's bathroom. The catgirl was sat on the edge of the bathtub, rubbing her injured leg, wearing only her underwear. Adora had seen Catra like that a hundred times. However, for some reason, a flickering feeling came to her stomach when she looked at the other girl so exposed and vulnerable.

"Hey, Adora," Catra said as she noticed Adora getting closer. The blonde couldn't help frowning at Catra's voice. Her usual teasing tone wasn't there, she just seemed really tired and upset. And for some reason, that felt really disturbing. "What are you doing here?"  
"Uh... Glimmer thought it wasn't a good idea to let you alone around the palace."  
Catra rolled her eyes. "Of course."

The catgirl tried to get in the bathtub slowly, wincing in pain, but she lost her balance and almost fell down. Adora instinctively held Catra's arm, helping her to keep still.

"Careful," she said standing next to the bath, still holding the other's girl arm.

Adora couldn't help feeling a little stupid. One minute ago she wanted to scream at Catra because of everything she had done, and now she was helping her taking a bath. That was just ridiculous.

Since Glimmer had arrived in the palace with Catra, Adora felt like a train wreck. She had been upset with Glimmer, but after all the time they had been apart it had worn off. She was just glad the girl was all right.

But Catra... Catra was a whole other story. Of course, Adora was relieved to know her former friend was alive, but everything she had done to Adora and to her friends was still there vivid in her mind. She wanted to scream at Catra, she wanted to punch her over and over again, to ask her why. However, it was so hard to be angry at Catra when she was so beaten and hurt.

"Ugh," Catra groaned. "I just want to take all the dirt and dried blood off my body."

"Let me help you…" Adora whispered, helping Catra sitting down on the tub.

Catra started washing her body, slowly, and Adora felt weird standing over there watching her. She wanted to say so many things, to ask so many questions, but it was so hard. She knew anything she said would turn up in a fight. But maybe there was no other way, they were meant to be fighting for the rest of their days.

"Why did you do that? Why did you help Glimmer?" Adora asked quietly.

Catra shrugged, not looking at Adora. "What else could I do? It was the only way to survive."

Adora felt a sharp pain in her chest. Even now, she expected Catra to say something different.

"So that was it? You wouldn't care if they destroyed Etheria and everyone in it."

Catra sighed, washing her face now. "It's not like anyone here cared if I died or not, why should I care about them?"

Adora gave Catra a shocked glare. "You know that's not true, Catra!"

That was absurd. Catra must have known that even after all she had done, Adora would never want to see her dead, neither would Scorpia, or even Kyle, Loonie and Rogelio.

The catgirl only shook her head annoyed.

"Why are you even asking me this, Adora?" She asked in a frustrated voice, standing up.

Adora only sighed, "I don't know… I-" She stopped to help Catra get out of the tub. "Here, you can wear these." She handled her a pile of clothes. Adora's clothes, because Catra didn't have anything here. A white T-shirt and a gray pair of pants.

Adora noticed Catra didn't put it on her headpiece after she dressed up. Her hair was even messier than usual, wet and falling on her face. The blond girl found herself thinking the other girl looked even cuter this way. _What's the matter with me?,_ Adora cursed herself.

"I will show where you're sleeping," Adora said once Catra was ready. The girl didn't say anything, she just tried to follow Adora stumbling and groaning out of pain. "Oh, sorry…" Adora apologized instinctively. "I forgot about your leg."

"It's okay, I can walk… It will just take a little longer…" Catra tried to sound chill but her voice was hoarse and her face squirming with pain. "You should be happy, you're finally faster than me."

Adora just rolled her eyes as she got closer to Catra so she could simply lift the girl up on her arms as though she weighed nothing.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" Catra widened her eyes as she tried to get away from Adora's grip and stand down again.

"Oh, shut up, Catra!" Adora finally snapped, which clearly shocked the other girl since she actually stayed quiet. "You looked like you were going to pass out from the pain! Can you stop being so stubborn for once in your life?!" Adora shouted angrily.

Adora knew she was freaking out for something stupid, the real reason she was so mad at Catra was completely different, but she couldn't control herself anymore. And at least, that shut Catra up.

Adora didn't know why but she saw herself taking Catra to her room. Well, the truth was they didn't have any other spare room, even so, she could have taken her to Scorpia's room, she was sure the other princess would like to see Catra again. But for some reason, she didn't.

She put the cat girl carefully on her bed. Catra was avoiding her eyes and pouting angrily.

"That's my room. You can stay here, for now, I will stay with Mermista."

"That's your room?" She let out a sarcastic laugh, as she finally looked around. "_That's_ why you never wanted to go back to the Horde," Catra said with a bitter smile.

"Yeah, of course, Catra!" Adora glared at her. "That was the reason! A beautiful room! Not the fact the Horde was hurting and threatening people's lives!"

Catra groaned and rolled her eyes.

"I was joking…" She said, slurring her voice.

Adora stared at her annoyed.

"Well, it was not fun!"

Catra rolled her eyes, pulling up her leg to look at the big cut across it. Now that she had washed it, it wasn't that ugly but it was still bleeding and it seemed quite deep.

"Don't lick it!" Adora shouted as she saw Catra pulling her leg closer to her face.

Catra blushed deeply. "I wasn't going to lick it!"

"Yeah, right!" Adora said, going over the bedside table to look for something. "I have seen you do that before."

"Whatever." Catra crossed her arms annoyed.

Adora sat next to her, she was holding a first aid kit. "Let me see this."

"Adora-"

"Don't even start it!" Adora ordered, clearly startling Catra, who glared at her with her eyes widened, but quietly.

She started cleaning and bandaging Catra's leg, quietly and slowly. Catra didn't say anything either. She barely moved. Adora couldn't help feeling a little guilty. Was she too harsh at the other girl? _Oh, come on, she almost destroyed the world and you are helping her! You should do more than just screaming at her! _But suddenly she heard a sharp breath and when she looked up at Catra's face she saw she was crying. And then, she felt as though her heart was being crushed.

It was like this since they were kids. Catra would act terribly and drive her crazy, sometimes they would even fight and scream at each other, but every time Adora saw the cat girl crying it felt as if someone had punched her in the guts. She wanted to hug her and apologize even if she didn't have anything to be sorry for.

"Catra?" She asked softly. "Catra, what is it? Does it hurt?"

The other girl shook her head, looking down, and holding herself.

"No, it's not that."

"Then, what it is?" Adora got closer to her, she wanted to put her arm around Catra's shoulders and hold her closer, but she only stared at the other girl's face.

"Why are you even doing this?" Catra asked, weeping her tears from her face with her forearm. "We aren't friends anymore! I'm your prisoner now! You don't have to do that! Why do you keep acting as you care?!" She asked between a shout and sob.

"I do care, Catra!" Adora shouted, frustrated. "And you are not a prisoner!"

Catra let out a sad laugh.

"Come on, Adora, why would have Sparkles sent her best soldier to watch me if I wasn't a prisoner?"

Adora just looked away, flushing.

"She didn't send me."

"But you said-"

"I lied," she admitted. "I came to you because I wanted to see you." Catra only stared back at her, she didn't seem to know what to say. "I'm still mad at you, Catra, I don't even know if I'm ever going to forgive you…" Adora bit her bottom lip. "But I'm so tired. I'm so tired of fighting… And… I've missed you."

* * *

"I've missed you."

It took Catra a while to process what Adora had really said. She missed her? Even after all she had done? That made no sense. People didn't miss her. She drove people away, and then they never came back. That was it. That was her story.

She felt a sharp pain in her chest as she remembered everything Double Trouble had said to her. People had hurt, manipulated and left her. And in the end, it was all her fault. Catra closed her eyes shut and dug her nails on the edge of the bed, as she tried to hold back a new wave of tears.

Suddenly, she felt Adora's hands on hers. She couldn't help letting out a little sob. She didn't remember the last time someone made physical contact with her like this, softly and caringly. And the fact it was Adora of all people made it all even harder to process. Catra didn't dare to move or even open her eyes. She didn't know what to say to Adora, she didn't even know why the other girl was acting so kind.

A part of Catra still resented Adora for so many things, but another part of her was just so tired of all this. And she missed her best friend so much.

"I'm tired too…" Catra admitted after a while. Catra wasn't even sure what she was going to say. The words _I'm sorry_ came to her mind. But did it even matter? Adora would never believe her, would she? "Adora, I-" The words came out of Catra's mouth slowly, but before she could even formulate a sentence, Adora cut her off.

"Are you hungry?" She asked in the most casual way. For a second, Catra felt as though they were kids again, having a normal day.

Catra's stomach growled. Only now she realized she hadn't eaten in days.

"Y-yeah…" She answered awkwardly after a while.

Adora smiled softly taking her hand and leading her to a table near the bed.

The food Adora offered her was the most exquisite thing. It looked nothing like the ration bars she used to eat in the Horde, it looked so colorful and weird. Catra wondered if it was real food. But once she tasted it she couldn't help loving it and eating all she could at once.

She heard Adora laughing. "Catra, slow down! You will make yourself sick!"

"But I'm starving! And it is so good!" She said with her mouth full.

Adora giggled, "Yeah, I know!"

Adora was right, she should have eaten so fast. Her stomach was hurting now and she was a little nauseated. But it was worth it. She didn't remember enjoying eating that badly before.

"You should get some sleep now," Adora said, rising up from her chair. The joy had vanished from her face once again, she just seemed very serious and upset, and that made Catra feel a lump on her throat. "See you tomorrow…" She muttered as she started walking towards the door.

"Wait, Adora!" Catra almost screamed as she stood up and held Adora's arm. She ignored the sharp pain on her leg. Adora frowned, looking back at her, but she didn't say anything. "You… You know… This is your room… And it's big…"

"Yeah?" Adora raised an eyebrow, stepping closer to Catra.

"You could stay…" Catra swallowed hard. "I mean if you want."

The truth was she didn't want to stay alone. Mostly not at night. And Adora… She had forgotten how good it felt to be around her. And the fact she was acting so nice… It was confusing, yes, she was more than sure Adora hated her for everything she had done, but at the same time, she wanted to believe the girl still cared about her. Even if it wasn't real… She wanted to believe there was something she hadn't lost yet.

"Do you want me to stay, Catra?" Adora asked, leaning down a little to look deeply into her eyes.

They were so close Catra could feel Adora's breath on her face. She could even smell her soft scent. For some reason, the proximity made her dizzy.

"Catra?" Adora asked again.

"Stay." Catra finally said, almost impatiently, blushing and looking away. "Please."

Adora's face was flushed too. "Fine." The blond girl cleaned her throat. "You're right. We've got space here…" Adora tried to sound casual and Catra only nodded.

They found themselves lying next to each other on Adora's bed. For a second, Catra cogitated sleeping by Adora's feet as she often did back in the Horde, but it seemed stupid since the bed was so big.

And for a while, they stayed there, looking at each other in the dark under the sheets. Catra didn't remember the last time she felt so relaxed. She was almost happy if it wasn't for the constant pain in her chest and the nightmares that would probably hunt her the whole night. She wondered if it would feel better if she was even closer to Adora.

And while she was deciding if she would say something or simply sleep, she heard Adora whispering her name. Why was she even whispering? There was no one there to listen to them.

"Catra?"

"Yeah?" Catra felt her heart pounding hard against her chest.

"I… Well, I want you to know, I'm really happy you are here. I missed you so much."

There, she said it again. No, it couldn't be true. But yet, it felt so real, so good.

Catra saw herself getting closer to the other girl, putting her arm around her waist and burying her face in her chest. Catra couldn't help purring when she felt Adora holding her back. A part of her was afraid the other girl would just repel her.

"I'm sorry…" Catra's whisper was barely audible.

She was glad it was dark so Adora wouldn't see she was crying again.

She started to drift off to sleep as she felt Adora's hand stroking her hair softly. And before she finally fell into a deep and soundless sleep she heard Adora saying the words back.

"I'm sorry too…"

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Thank you for reading it! Reviews are more than welcome!


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